Al Davis

Dear Lutz,

Al Davis. Why, oh why?

Sincerely,
RF

Dear RF,

Thank you for your remarkably brief question, if it is in fact a question and not a lament. In the early days of Ask Lutz, archived here, my motto was “No question is too big or too small.” I have to admit you’re testing the limits of that.

Your brevity also forced me to make an educated guess that your question was in reference to Oakland Raiders owner Al Davis, and not Al “Bummy” Davis, the famed Jewish boxer who was gunned down by hoodlums in 1945. If you were bemoaning his fate, and/or seeking advice about how to avoid being gunned down by hoodlums, I’m afraid the rest of my answer will not prove very useful. Please accept my apologies.

In keeping with the tried-and-true Ask Lutz methodology, as detailed in Please Sit Down, I started by reading your question several times (this took seconds). Since the only information I have about you is that your purported initials are RF, that you ask cryptic questions, and that you have some issue regarding Al Davis, it was kind of hard to put myself in your shoes. It quickly became clear that the research aspect of the methodology was going to have to carry most of the burden.

For those readers unfamiliar with the NFL (American football to any foreign readers), Al Davis is the owner of the Oakland Raiders. Although the Raiders play just across the bay from where I live, I’m not now nor have I ever been an expert on Al Davis. But the word on the street is that he has a number of enemies. Now would be a good time for me to mention that I am not one of his enemies. Hi Al, we’re just fine.

To begin my research, I decided to consult an expert, or the closest thing I could find: People I know who watch football. I posed a very simple question: “What can you tell me about Al Davis?” Here are their responses:

He has been known to fly off the handle. He has little loyalty to cities and often threatens to move his team in order to get new stadiums built. Does not seem like a nice guy.

I see. Anonymous source #2 said this:

He was a genius back in his day but just got old and lost it but still hung around. Like the Rolling Stones.... No, wait, more like Phil Spector.

Ouch. Source # 3 three had this to say:

Raider's owner Al Davis's motto is "Just win baby!" The way the Raiders have played in the last few years suggests a more appropriate motto would be "Just lose baby!"

Double ouch. The headline of a recent article echoes that sentiment:

Oakland Raiders: Just Wince, Baby

When Al Davis fired coach Lane Kiffin just four games into the season, one of the things the Raiders owner complained about was Kiffin's inability to put points on the scoreboard.

Now, the Raiders might look at the Kiffin era as the good old days. Under Kiffin this season, Oakland averaged 19.5 points a game. In four games under replacement Coach Tom Cable, the Raiders have averaged 7.2.

Al Davis, it seems, has a habit of either dumping players too soon or hanging on to players too long if, say, they are cooperating with the Raiders’ agenda. (Although, to be honest, I really couldn’t tell you what that agenda is). After all the harsh quotes from male football consumers, I decided to consult an anonymous woman (let’s call her Sally), whom I know to have some opinion about the Raiders. Our conversation went like this:

Me: Care to provide an anonymous quote about Al Davis?

Sally: He’s the owner, right? I hate him.

Me: Why do you hate him?

Sally: Because he fired his coach mid-season. Bad!

Me: Why is that bad?

Sally: Because they’ve been practicing with him the whole time. They’re used to him. And Al has funny hair. Well, maybe I shouldn’t say that.

Me: It’s all anonymous.

Sally: Thank God.

Thank you, Sally. What I’ve gathered from my exhaustive research is that Al Davis, like so many of us, wants to win. And sometimes when people want something really badly, like a Super Bowl ring, they lose perspective and make reckless decisions that result in losing instead of winning. Some people might argue that running a multimillion-dollar professional football operation based on emotion is not the wisest idea. But what do I know? I’ve never owned a football team, or taken that team to the Super Bowl. But remember, just like a team’s owner, a team’s fan must weather the hard times. There’s nothing you can do about Al Davis, unless you’ve got a takeover plan, and frankly I want no part of it.

I have only a few options to help you through this troubled time, RF. If it’s anger at Al that you’re dealing with, perhaps you should write him a letter and get some things off your chest. Try to be constructive, but also know that it’s very unlikely he’ll read that letter. If losing is bothering you, you could always switch teams. If you’ve tried the above, perhaps you should consider therapy.

Or you could consider a change in perspective. There are 32 teams in the NFL. Not every team—in fact, only two—can make the Super Bowl. Sure, the Raiders’ record this season is 2 wins and 8 losses, but they’re doing better than the Detroit Lions, Kansas City Chiefs, and Cincinnati Bengals. My point is they’re not last. Which is no consolation to Al Davis, but perhaps it can be some consolation to you, RF. Winning is fun, sure. But it doesn’t build character. In fact, one might argue that being almost the worst is an ideal character-building situation. You have plenty of motivation and room for improvement, yet without the utter demoralization of being dead last. Congratulations.

I hope I have been some help to you, RF. If not, the best way to avoid being shot by hoodlums is to quickly give them whatever they want.

Best wishes,

Lisa