Dear Jay,
Since you like music and I like music, I thought I'd ask you a music-related question. I'd like to start my own record label.
How much money would I need to start it up? Do I need to play an instrument or know anything about music? If I had to learn one instrument, what would you choose? Is there any music industry etiquette or lingo I should know?
I would also like to have a good name for my record label. Any ideas?
Signed,
Future Music Mogul
Dear FMM,
As an accomplished musician and netlabel executive, Jay is overqualified to provide unprofessional advice on this matter. So I, Dave, am stepping up to the plate--or, in this case, the microphone!
While I do not myself play or listen to music, I am known to have a clear eye for commerce and innovation in general. My neutral vantage point allows me to discern emerging trends that may remain invisible to industry insiders.
As you probably know, the music business has been enjoying unprecedented prosperity over the last few years. In fact, along with the other two sides of the so-called "golden triangle"--pet clothing and waffle restaurants--the industry has remained eerily unaffected by the ongoing recession.
However, several indicators suggest a less rosy future. The next generation of music moguls will be those who recognize the clouds just now beginning to take shape on the horizon--and then ride those clouds.
Here are three unsettling trends that will help define the record industry of tomorrow:
• The rise of computers. From the recording studio to the listening experience, computers may begin to play a significant role in the music business. While it’s much too early to forecast exactly what this role will be, this clip suggests some chilling possibilities.
• The compact disc--will it see 2100? My calculations indicate that CDs may be replaced within the next 75 to 100 years, probably by some sort of edible wafer. Use your imagination and try to figure out how this would work.
• The blind kid won’t win “American Idol.” This is not necessarily an emerging trend per se--it's just a prediction designed to verify my observational savvy.
As for the name of your record company, choose one that music lovers will easily remember. Studies have shown that two-word phrases combining a color and an animal are among the most memorable. Mauve Stallion and Brown Dog are just two of the unforgettable possibilities.
Good luck, FMM. As Casey Kasem used to say, “Keep your foot on the gas but keep reaching for the sky!”
Dave
P.S. To answer your question about industry lingo, here’s a phrase that will give you instant "cred": A brass player with good wind control is said to have balloon lungs.
4 comments:
The advice in this column is exceptional except in one area: Band names. In this respect the advice is merely good.
I am neither a musician nor an "industry mogul". It would be fair to say that I have nothing to do with entertainment. I do not entertain, I am not entertaining, I am not entertained, not even when I watch a TV show, which is Reno 911. But there is one thing I excel at. No, not crossword puzzles. No, not Sudoku. I am an expert fencer, a sport recently popularized by the film, I Love You, Man. Fencing is a dynamic sport that involves a lot of back and forth. In this respect there is a harmony to it. There is a melody to a fencing match. Plus, there is a language to fencing that is uniquely suited to band names. This is not to say colored animals make bad band names. They don't. But they are, shall we say, overused as a convention. They make for good names. They do not make for exceptional names. Fencing lingo, however, is not overused. For this reason, and this reason alone, let me offer you several potential names for your band:
- Flèche
- Cross Over
- Passata-sotto
- Attaque au Fer
- Neuvieme
Note that these are exotic, foreign-sounding words that act like pheromones when attempting to attract a woman, provided this is one of the things you wish to achieve by starting a band.
These would also be good names for a bank, if you were to start one.
The commenter seems mightily confused. The discussion is over record company names. As excellent as fencing terms are for bands, they make horrible record company names.
However, I do not think there is a record company with a portfolio of bands all of whose names are fencing terms (unless it is based in Iceland). This could be a very interesting concept label.
Dave,
What is this nonsense? And who decided that you should answer the question and not Jay. We call it "unprofessional" advice because I'm not an expert on anything (except etiquette, as I've always said). However, when an expert is on hand to answer the question, the expert should answer the question. I would like to know whether it was you or Jay who made this executive decision. I'm tempted to ask Gold Dog to take over the column while I'm out of town.
My own feelings are that a fencing-themed series of responses to readers' most pressing inquiries would be highly unprofessional.
Alas, it is my unfortunate situation to be in a position to inform you of the tragic, untimely death of Gold Dog to mysterious economic forces beyond the comprehension of Timothy Geithner, and, shamefully, far removed from the realm of fencing (though some do suspect the International Brotherhood of Insistence and Derobement, a nudist group with strong socialist leanings). You will have to query the FDIC for additional information.
On a separate note, I would like to endorse the use of local currencies.
Post a Comment